Winter Solace
by anatagasuki
Summary: Who is this woman? Is this the woman who loved him once, the one he ignored, rejected and spited for a thousand times and more? RuOC. STANDARD DISCLAIMERS APPLY.


A/N:** Author on crack**

**Winter Solace**

Snow flakes whirled around the lawn-covered plot as the graceful wind carried them away, encircling the lanky raven haired ace. Gently patting snow away from his pale face, he closed his eyes and tried to feel the activity of nature going on around him. Breathing the intoxicating aroma in his nostrils, he desperately wanted to succumb to it, to melt with it, to forget everything.

But when he opened his eyes, the sight before him made him widen his eyes in surprise.

"Why are you here?"

He was faced by her equally wide eyes, her clearly astonished expression.

No one spoke for minutes, staring at each other, recognizing the fact that indeed, they were four meters facing each other.

Then, a small, hesitant smile crept on her equally pale face.

"Long time no see, Kaede."

He stared right back, feeling her glazed stare at him.

'_Don't go any closer. Run.'_

Yet his feet made their way to her direction, the exact opposite of what his rational mind told him.

"Three years."

She nodded tenderly, breaking their gaze.

"How's life been going?"

A casual question. Rukawa only nodded his head in response.

She looked away. "Been excellent in basketball, I heard." She surmised. "Team's been doing well?"

He looked away, refusing to gauge her reaction. Then, he nodded his head.

She turned, walked towards nowhere. He walked right beside her, giving his silent approval of a short, simple talk.

"So, it's new. You're here."

He nodded for the third time, fearing that his voice would fail him.

She looked up at the six feet player. "Still the same, old Kaede Rukawa."

He heard a chuckle and he looked down at her, remembering the days when she used to chuckle for him--for him and him alone.

Things change.

They sure do.

And they could transform so rapidly that no one could follow, like in a warp mode, a bulldozer that sweeps everything on its way. It could be for the greater good, or the worse.

After a few minutes of walking they both wordlessly agreed to sit down, him holding a can of local beer, a cup of coffee in her hands. Tin tumbling, liquid rolling, he continued to stare at her.

Who is this woman? Is this the woman who loved him once, the one he ignored, rejected and spited for a thousand times and more?

Is her long mane the one he used to marvel, fluttering within the breeze? Is her fair skin the one he used to touch, the one who used to warm him up? Is her soft, pink lips the one who used to comfort him, to say kind words, the one that pressed on his a long time ago?

And now, as her bright, chocolate eyes pierce his soul through an innocent look, could he wish to turn back time? To tell her why and for whom he went here for?

Her lone finger made its way on his right cheek. "Tell me what the problem is."

He looked at her, then grabbed her wrist held out to him. "Are you happy?"

She looked back with confused, yet sad eyes. "I am happy. Are you?"

He let her go and looked away, saying nothing.

Silence.

Silence. Maybe it was, what, one of the things that caused her to leave?

Perhaps.

"Why did you leave?"

He wanted to say so many things, but his mouth refused to say anything more.

Her gaze faltered, she was silenced for awhile. She looked down to her feet.

"Why?"

Silence.

"I didn't leave." She looked up at him, her eyes hard. "You told me to leave. You pushed me to leave."

He looked again at her face, trying to defend his side, willing to break through her.

But he can't, he won't. Because he once had her heart opened widely for him, yet he banged the door shut.

"I had my dreams."

Her whole form shook, her eyes stronger in defiance. "I had my dreams too! But I'm willing to surrender them. I'm willing to give them up. I'm willing to leave them behind!"

He looked on, tears filling up.

"Because…" her voice trailed down. "Because I'll be making dreams. New dreams…with you."

He didn't speak a syllable.

"Maybe I was wrong." She looked down, her disappointed eyes focused on her skirt. "I knew you wouldn't give your dreams up for me. But then I never forced you to. I'm content in receiving these small tokens of affection that assures me you are at least at ease with me. I did everything…"

She was right. She did everything to save…what they have. But he was stubborn. He wanted no one in his frozen heart; even if it was the only person he cared for, the only person who saw him through and through. He was afraid.

Frightened. Utterly scared that one day--one day he would lose her and he will never be able to take it.

So why not love her in the first place?

And he was wrong to take that option.

But that's why he's here right? Because he wants her, he needs her, he loves her. Maybe he loved her a long time ago, he was just too cold to realize that.

"You made your own dreams without me. Now I'm making my own dreams without you. Your own, your own. My own, my own."

He was afraid before because he will break himself. Now he's afraid to break her.

"I love you."

He looked at her straight, holding her shoulders tight.

She looked back at him.

Her eyes were tear-filled, but hard.

"I doubt it." She said. "Do you know how it feels to be disregarded and rejected everyday? Do you know how it felt to be your bitch? Someone who'd just keep your admirers away, to make them think we're together even if we're not?"

Silence.

"I was with you." She spoke. "But I feel I'm all alone all along."

She stood up, turned and walked away.

"I came here for you! I came here to apologize! God, I love you!"

She stopped er strides, then she slowly twisted her head to look at him.

"How do I care? You're _just_ Rukawa."

She knew she should've never returned, yet when he called her over to ask her for a conversation at the same place, she foolishly agreed.

When she saw him, she decided she would go away, nonetheless forget everything about him.

She was starting her new life, her own life. Apart from his.

She knew she would never have a place in his heart.

Because she didn't have the key to unlock it, ever.

Even if she tried to knock again and again, she knew she would fail.

She turned away, walked away as tears finally escaped her eyes, when she promised never to cry again after she left for France, for her dreams, her career, her studies.

To forget him completely and let him dwell in a locked asylum of her heart.

But when she heard what he had to say, she found all her resolve to fade.

"I'm not coming back to Japan without you. You're going to leave your dreams behind, but now I'm willing to abandon mine, for you. For my love for you."

**END  
**

A/N: Basically that's it. It's inspired by Embracing Silence and Goodbye to Eternity. I hope they won't sue me!

BTW the girl was not Haruko. I'm just telling that again for those who didn't read it in the beginning. It's a new character I only made up.

Thanks for reading. RnR! :)


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